Housekeeping

Today I was inspired to open my blog. Ha! I was doing some 'housekeeping' on my macbook which is in sore need of some serious cleaning. Lately, its only use is for playing 'Sims' and I feel like I am unable to utilize the neat-o gadgets and applications (honestly, some of them I just really don't know how to use). One of these days I will try to learn. Anyway, the reason for my post is that I like collecting pictures and sometimes I forget that I have certain photos that I haven't edited, posted, or sent to friends who have been asking for copies. Apologies.

Anyway, I'm going off topic. I saw these set of images that I took last year when I went home to Phil. I suddenly had the urge to post them.

Basically, this is a "I'm missing my brother & sister entry". I've been having those emo moments and it doesn't help that I see these things. Sigh. Sometimes I still wonder why I'm here?

Question for the day: Who do you miss the most?

Foundation

Yesterday, I was writing on my blog about my gaming experience when I accidentally clicked on a button that bought me to another page. I hit the back button but lo and behold the page turned up error. So, I tried typing blogger.com back to see my dashboard and posts. It's gone. It didn't save the draft. I hated it when I've already written 2 paragraphs worth. And it was a such a positive post that I actually surprised myself. I guess my blog is telling me in such a 'coincidental' way perhaps that it's not meant to be posted. Okay, on to my post today.

Faith has brought me this far. (and yes, I'm sad).

I realized that having faith is a key element of a relationship. How did I come up with that conclusion?

I realized that in every relationship, love is not enough. You must have trust, understanding, and compromise. Yes, I said compromise. No one is ever truly right for each other. There will always come a time when a problem, belief, or practice arises that both of you don't agree upon. This is not a bad thing because each person/human being is unique. What one must learn is how to respect that other person's self-being. It's not easy because like I said before man is essentially selfish, and when one thing doesn't go your way - you tend to reject it. This is the first reaction - that unintentional response would be is not to accept. Then when you learn to accept this anomaly in your system it's because you have faith in this person.

Of course you must understand that love is still the foundation of the relationship. Because without it, you're just essentially just playing with that person or you're in lust with the person - take your pick. But I find that the key to holding this foundation together is faith. If you don't have faith, the foundation can start to rot. It will slowly deteriorate from various problems arising. I have always wondered why people break up even after how many years in a relationship and I know for a fact that this couple actually loves each other. The problem is their foundation didn't have that key to hold it together that's why - it just took years for it to finally give up.

Honestly, I do find myself afraid of losing this foundation. Faith has glued it back for me. It's not always sturdy especially at times of storms and strong winds. But I always try and I never ever stop trying. I might bellow and moan about it but I never want to give up.

This of course must be done by two persons having faith. I honestly believe that if you really want it to work out - four hands are needed to keep it strong and steady.

Faith has brought me this far. (I'm sorry)

Dread & Uncertainty

I dread writing again. It's been 4 months since I've written a word in this blog. I have reasoned time and time again that it's because I'm happy and there's really nothing to write about. I always tell myself the only time I write well is when I'm depressed. Sad words seem to slide from my fingetips more beautifully than happy ones (well, for me that is).

So, am I saying that I'm sad right now? Not particularly. I just found it a bit odd that after a long weekend spent at the beach. I was bawling my eyes out back at my place for no apparent reason but I just did. But why? I just spent a great weekend with RA.

Lack. That's my answer. I feel a lack of purpose. I'm working in SG to earn and save. For what? I've always thought that I'm saving up to be able to spend on the things I like most, so I can go out there and explore places I've never been. Now, I'm hesitant. It is as if I should be doing something else. They say it's hormones. This is such a flimsy excuse. And stop right there if your thoughts are veering towards the notion 'Woman! Make up your mind!'. I apologize in advance if this is creating a more angsty emotion towards all women in general who are fickle-minded.

I realized that after a certain event or activity that passed leaves me drained and now I'm yearning for something to look forward to. It's as if I always have a thirst that needs quenching. Goodness, this suddenly reminds me of vampires. But let's not veer away from the topic at hand. Back to thirst...hmmm...yep, RA says it's because I'm never satisfied. I get one thing that I yearn for another thing. Or sometimes I get one thing but realize I actually need another thing. I blame my upbringing. Darn it. I've usually gotten what I want in life but not by simply having a silver spoon in my mouth. I try to be as determined as possible in everything I do because hard work does pay off. At a young age, I've learned from my mom's experience that life is not easy. She taught me that everything has to be done through hard work and patience. So excuse my rants because it's just that...spoken words to let out complaints. In the end, words won't help speed up problems (probably just aggravates them). But it's just part of my release so let it be.

I realized recently that a certain person is going through something that I went through back in the Phil. The feeling of incompetence, lack of confidence, and dread of going to work. I don't regret feeling all these (of course, at that time, I might have felt differently). It know that it made me the person that I am right now. It was like boot camp and I felt the rigorous training has pushed me to try my best on the next part of my journey. I might still falter a bit but I understand that the training is still on-going. I am still in the process of learning. I just hope that the advice I gave can help this person.

Afraid still. I think the uncertainty is what kills me. I like knowing soon and having the pieces in place. But who out there knows what's gonna happen? Everything is certainly uncertain. That's all.

Question for the day: What do you dread the most?