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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Tick-tock


I seem to have all the time in the world but I still have no time at all.  

People reason out that they don't have time but they're just lazy to do anything with their time. You want to do a certain task, you have the means to do it, and you're willing to do it. But you just don't have time, right? 

Totally wrong.  Come on people, time is not the problem. It's really you. Time is your company here. He's always around for you. Each second is dedicated to help you do your thing. But you waste away with nothingness and excuses.  You blame him but you dilly-dally. He's been your ally, giving you ample reasons to work and find your purpose.   Idleness is your sickness and not time's problem.  Help yourself somehow and you'll notice time wants you to achieve your goals.  So buck up and start spending each second with a purpose.  The rewards are fantastic, I bet.  

Question for the day: What time is it?   

Sunday, July 20, 2008

At the end of the day...

I've started to build myself around another human element and form as one.  But as this other element starts to malfunction, I have to malfunction as well.  This is what I did to myself - destruction.  

I hated the fact that my circuits are all intertwined with this other being.  My thoughts, feelings and emotions have gone hay-wired.  It's all but a crazy ride. I try to fix it but it doesn't want to get fixed because it is teaching me what it means to be destructive.  

I guess because I have a standard all to myself. However, this being bypasses all my processes because I can never be just me again.  It always has to be with this element in my life because I made my choice.  That since that time I made it, I really don't have freedom to move.  

Easily I can just break it off because I created this bond.  But it seems that this bond has become stronger than anything I've ever had in my life.  Honestly, I'm scared and that's not a good thing. If fear is the only that is keeping me here in this state, it's not healthy because it will eventually eat me inside.  

I hate myself more than I hate this being.  I thought that I can have my cake and my icing too. I wanted to be individualistic - to be free to fly like Peter Pan. It was not possible anymore. If one chooses this path, one has to learn that there are consequences.  It's not easy yet the rewards are fulfilling.  It just so happens that there are difficult pitfalls along the way. Most people just like me still take this bond because in the end the rewards are still worthwhile. So just take it or leave it.  


... everyone should be alone

Question for the day: I asked if you trust me?  

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Cravings.

What makes you tick? What makes you want the things you want? What excites you the most?

Tell me because when I start to think of what mine is (pause) it suddenly changes. It's different all the time. I have never had just that one tick.

Bitchy.

Suddenly, I'm starting to show some claws. I promised myself that it won't show since I'm not in my comfort zone but it's itching to come out. I guess the people around me aren't helping at all. But hey, I'm trying.

Sanity.

I need to keep mine amidst all the chaos - the silent chaos. I crave noise, a particular noise though. It is usually in different forms - a laugh, a persistent shout, a giggle, a smirk, a sigh, a frank reply, a loving compliment, a greeting, a nickname that I'm called. These are just some of the noise that I crave. Oops, we're back to the craving part. Here it is. This is my craving this week. I think last week was french fries. Hmm...

It has never been exciting if I'm not depressed. It's such a lame excuse though that I can write better when I'm freaking lonely. Dang chocolates, it's helping subside the loneliness. Let's blame the sweets.   I'm having a Lily Allen's Smile song syndrome. I'm upbeat but really now, just read the lines ...when I see you cry it just makes me smile...

Question for the day: What is your craving?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Blog Test

Welcome to something new, slightly old, but usually blue. :)