Still Me

Sometimes it feels like life is hunky-dory when in fact one little thing can change all that. I take one day at a time and still it feels like an eternity of waiting.

I crave patience and understanding. Perhaps I'm already at the downward slope. There are still so many things I want to do in my life. I want to be better at my job, learn a new skill, travel the world, be a better girlfriend etc. But it can be all too much. There is such a thing as trying too hard to a point that you're just failing in each task you set out to do.

I was desperate to do something new for a change and all I got was another disappointment. I was too desperate to even read the details. I was already going through the motions and exclaiming to almost everyone of what I was setting out to accomplish. But what I didn't do is read. A very big mistake especially in my line of work - it can be hazardous.

I can be a bit slow when it comes to understanding things. I find myself grasping for the correct answers to simple situations. Complicated ones seem to work best with me. But why is it the simplest things that sometimes require common sense can be vague to me. Again, why complicate things when it can be simple? I create poppycock logic when there's no such thing. Logic is logic. And yes, I might not have that.

Hurt. Discouraged. Insecure. All things that I currently feel but I know in my heart that I have someone who loves me despite my flaws. Thank you Jesus.

Don't be scared. I'm weak after all. So are you. I'm trying to change. Just let me know if you want to change too.