Changing

The tides are changing. It's shifting further inward. Perhaps even back to the part where it all should have began.

I have begun my descent. Or maybe I've never really progressed at all. I'm stuck at my own vanity, my cursed selfishness. I keep up rules that don't really make sense, which just makes the journey worse each day. There are only false enigmas and indignities that I talk of just to cover up my insecurities. Far from improvement, I'm just wallowing myself in self-scorn and berating myself for it after. Why can't I just stand up and take a step towards a different life? He's giving me boundaries of reality that I should walk on. But I still hang on to the poles I erected around myself, only because I hang on to my selfishness. He has become a better person while I am stuck in this limbo. Not budging and too afraid to be humbled.

I am but a simpleton in this cycle we call relationship. I breathe, I take, I live. All the Is without knowing the whys. I say I care about the other when the other has been the one to live up to my expectations of love, feeding it unconditionally to the point of me feeling powerful and omniscient about this gift that I was given. Pull me down back to reality. Help me stand on my own two feet once more, perhaps it will teach me how to fight again - for myself and for the other.

Do not seek, just do.

I wanted to write but I keep second guessing myself. I have already back spaced a bit.  Another one.  :p 

Life has been good and the pieces seem to be all here near me.  I feel like an almost finished puzzle.  But that can't be since I'm only 24.  There's a whole life out there that needs to be pieced together.  

Wary and anxious.  That's how I feel about my future. Yep, I'm thinking of it, imagining it on how it would be like.  But why worry about the future if I don't have a present?  Being more responsible and careful is my number one priority in saving myself from disorder.  I'd probably have to throw away a bit of unpredictability (unless I get bored).  It's never fun without it.  

Books are still a good source of taking my mind to different places. It's a good thing I have not gotten tired of reading.  

Perhaps I need a new hobby to take away this little hole that is starting to develop in me.  It's still the adventure in me that creeps in from time to time.  Any suggestions? 

Question for the day: What were you thinking? 

An Indulgent Stay in Bohol

Our company outing this year was in the Philippines so I got to go home.  Well...not exactly since we've decided to take a trip down south - Cebu, the Queen City and Bohol, the land of Tarsiers and Chocolate Hills.  

Peek-a-boo: Tarsier 

It's actually my 3rd or 4th time in Cebu so it wasn't that exciting for me.  It's my second time in Bohol. The last time I went was only for a day tour of the place.  This time around I was lucky enough to choose the resort.  I had to do a bit of research coz we needed a place good for relaxing and some team building.  I took a suggestion from my friend and it was down to Amarela Resort.  It was nice, clean and idyllic.  

Garden Facade: Amarela Resort

View from Veranda: Amarela Pool

Steps to the room

It needs a bit of improvement on the staff side though. I guess the place wasn't really that suited to big groups despite the size.  It's more for couples and families. Still, we had a good time.  The food was so-so. But it was a culinary experience for most of my colleagues since it's their first time in the Philippines.  Here are some of the food you can order from the resort restaurant.  

Crispy Pata

Seafood Platter

Avocado Shake

Ooh almost forgot, you have to try their Amarela cocktail. Divine.  I think the bartender already knew how I like after my second order.  :) 

What I loved about the place is really the uniqueness of each room.  I went and peeked at each room which we booked.  Each place had its own quirks.  Every room had a unique set of keychains. The set-up such as the paintings were different for each room.  Each room had its own feel. We only got the superior rooms so I do wonder what it would feel like in the deluxe rooms. It doesn't hurt to go back right? :p

Unique keychain designs for each room

Cute Shell-Soap Dish

I also liked that they had a library of not only books but DVDs as well.  There was an extensive line of new titles for both and are for free by the way.  You borrow a DVD and popped it on your player in your own room or just grab a book and head on towards the beach where there are hammocks for some reflection chu-chu.  :P Their massage service wasn't so bad right at your own room, and relatively cheap too (especially for Singaporean standards).  

Little Nook 

1st Floor: Reception, Sitting & Dining Room

2nd Floor: Library

We had of course a tour of Bohol countryside (which was not that new to me) but it was still all good.  The usual was on the list of course...Blood Compact Shrine, Baclayon Church, Chocolate Hills, Tarsier Encounter and Loboc River Cruise.  Second time around wasn't so bad since you get to experience with a different group. Another memorable activity we did was our snorkeling session in Balicasag Island.  The fish sanctuary was fantastic. There were all kinds of fishes, corals, and even a big turtle.  Bohol is famous for its dive sites so its a must-see.  

I recommend everyone who has not set foot in Bohol to go and stay in Panglao Island. 3 days and 2 nights would be worth it. Have your countryside tour on your first day.  Go snorkeling or scuba diving on your second day.  Then have a relaxing day on your third and just breathe in the tranquility of the sights.  Indulge as I always say.  

Sunset at Amarela

A National For A Day

What does it feel like to be a national here in Singapore?

Try attending the National Day Festivities here. I was able to attend the preview though (a week before the actual National Day). Tickets are given away via lottery so you don't really get to queue up and buy a ticket. So how was I lucky enough to get a ticket? Long story but it was really last minute. Good thing I went.


Grandstand Entrance

I already arrived late but it was all good. Most of the main events don't start until a bit later. Hmm...I'm being lazy so I copied the program details from my multiply site. :)

There are 3 segments:

(1) Pre-parade: This includes mass-displays, choir performances, school band marches, cheerleader dances, sky-diving displays, and other light-hearted performances to entertain the crowd prior to the parade proper.


Sky-diving Displays


Flag-waving


View of the Singapore Flyer

(2) Parade Proper: This comprises marches from the different sectors of the Singapore police force and military. Then a helicopter carrying the Singapore flag flies in to officially start the ceremonies. Other ceremonies were also performed such as gun salutes to key officials of Singapore, followed by various cultural performances (in different languages). Song Theme: One Nation, One Singapore. The highlight of this segment are the Black Knights F16 aerial stunts (super cool!).


Police & Military Force Parade


Black Knights F16


Cool Heart Formation

(3) Show segment: Here comes in the “Search!”, “Sense!”, “Spring!” and “Shine!” - the four different stages of the whole final show performances. During this segment, you'd see eye-catching props, colourful costumes, energetic acrobatics, and hyped-up performers. The show ends with a spectacular fireworks display.


AVP Colourful Display


Parade Float with performers


Fireworks Finale Display

I was lucky enough to attend since some of my colleagues (who have resided here forever) have not yet attended a single National Day Program.

Singapore National Day: August 9

Tourist Food Trips

For two weekends, I've become a tourist in Singapore.

The first weekend of being a tourist was when my BF came over. I was waiting for him to come so I can finally be able to eat chilli crab - the specialty here in Singapore. Prior to this long-awaited meal, I had to research which places serve good chilli crab at reasonable prices. Location was a priority as well, since the trip itinerary was tight. There were a lot of restaurants that serve this famous dish I tell you. I got a headache just from searching. Finally, I decided to stick with this restaurant near the hotel we were staying called the No. 3 Crab Delicacy

I read the reviews from this site and was interested with the 'bigness' that the author talked about. We were starving when we got to the resto so unfortunately no pics. :) We tried the chilli crab and the butter garlic crab (for the weak stomachs who can't take the heat :P). The fried tofu, yang chow fried and honey spare ribs wasn't so bad but the big treat was the chilli crab. Will definitely go back and try again but this time I'll make sure I snap some pics.

The second weekend I became a tourist was when my sister came over. She's definitely into eating and even has a list of vegetarian-allowed types of food. We were at Chinatown when we chanced upon a hawker area. We scrounged the area for the food on the list. First up ...


Fried Carrot Cake

Unfortunately, there was bits and pieces of meat mixed into it (I guess for flavoring). I didn't even noticed but vegetarians apparently know even in small amounts - they can distinguish. So strict vegetarians forewarned. She still ate a bit since she wanted to try it.

We also ordered peanut soup and teh tarik (my first time trying these) to share and I got the laksa - a coconut-based curry soup.


Teh Tarik and Peanut Soup

Laksa

During our Chinatown tour, we stopped by a pastry shop called Tong Heng which served us free mooncake and egg tarts. It was the mooncake festival and I was starting to get sick of mooncake (no offense to the Moon Girl above). The egg tarts were interesting but not really my thing. My sister loved it.


Egg Tarts, near Chinatown

Our search for food suited for vegetarian continues when we finally found popiah. I was introduced to popiah by my colleague at the food market near Boon Keng station. Popiah is like our Filipino version of sariwang lumpia but this one with chilli. Yummy. :)


Popiah

We also included the meal with roti and teh tarik once more.


Roti (with curry sauce) & Teh Tarik

My sister also craved for some healthy refreshing drinks. Here's an idea for all you veggie, fruit and milk lovers out there. The store is called Mr. Bean . She ordered a celery milk drink (hmmm, sounds too veggie to me). There are a lot of branches around Singapore so it's easy to find.

An interesting dinner that we had was at the community hall near the Mosque in Kampong Glam. Since it was Hari Raya month, the Mosque serves food to everyone who'll come to them. This was a treat and a unique experience for us. We were able to break fast with fellow Muslims. After our Malay tour around the area and a lesson in Islam and Singapore history, we were treated with hospitality and given food to share with our fellow tour mates. Here's the food served and me feeding myself with hand. "When in Rome, do what the Romans do".


Chicken w/ yellow rice and dates

Eating with hands

Of course, the food trippings wouldn't have been complete without Indian food - savory and spicy. Yes! My sister got a vegetarian meal set while I had Mutton curry. Papadums (Indian version of our Chicharap) are of course a snack treat that I got addicted to it for a while. But really the oil can kill if you eat a lot. :)


Vegetarian Set meal

Mutton Curry

These are just a bit of what we ate during the weekend. There were some snacking in between which we didn't take pictures of. The whole two weekends was a feast of the senses - especially taste. Here in Singapore, you can never go wrong with food. There are still a lot of stuff to try and I'm the type of girl who likes to try anything once. If I like it, I'll definitely try again and again. One colleague even told me that I enjoy my food a lot since it shows a lot on my face - kinda orgasmic - that's what she said. Oooh, must've mean something else entirely? Perhaps. Haha.

My solace, my sweet solace. 

Don't speak. Don't say anything. My confidence is shattered by you - just you.  Never been good at anything.  But you still have a way of shutting down whatever I have.  Talent is not a noun I'm familiar with.  I was even lost on my first step in the real world. I was shut down.  Yes, I was.  Even now, I'm not even sure if I'm any good at what I do.  Faults are mentioned more about me. They are frequent in their descriptions of me.  At first, perhaps it was something superficial. "Oh her, yeah, she's nice...and pretty I guess". Yes, but it will change coz when I talk, I open up, I be me - definitely change. So just shut up Z. 

Yes, just don't speak, don't say anything. 

You're much better at everything. I say this - it's wrong. I say less - why aren't you saying anything. I say more - you don't have to. I say something right - finally! Never good enough, always coming up short. 

People should just shut up and stay in their own little world. Be like the people in Wall-E. Maybe that will be better so no one will end up hurt.  No one will be happy either but what the heck. I'm just the problem here by thinking too much.  Wall-E should just probably clean up one more.  Yes, one more trash to get rid of.  

Question for the day: Why can't I just shut up? 

Is it foolish to be engrossed in every book, movie or series that I find to my liking? I usually escape to this world away from reality. I take everything in and let it bombard my senses – I drift away and let myself be dragged into metaphysical experiences in my head. Some say I take things to heart and let it control the rest of my day. Bottomline: I get affected easily.

I noticed how I shut things out once I’m on that “last” syndrome. I tend to forget and neglect. I don’t even mind because I wanted to feel that way – happy, sad, hurt, elated, depressed, adventurous etc. It all depends on what I just read or watched. This is probably the reason why sometimes I act irrationally. I just let my imagination run wild. It’s just not usually out. It’s tucked neatly in my memory spaces and has an on/off switch, which gets turn on right after a good book/movie. Then will not shut down for some time. Time limit unknown.

I guess it’s better to get intoxicated in these experiences rather than me doing something illegal. It’s such a petty excuse but if I took this to extremes then I’ll be having a problem in my hands. Probably soon though, if you leave me alone for longer periods of time. Help?

What I need is a big dose of reality again, maybe watch a bit of CNN and realize that my imaginary world will never come close to what is seen there. Give me a bit of straightforward, stiff news out there. Add a bit of boringness as well with talk of politics and economy. Hey, I’m not saying these things are not important. It just bores the hell out of me. Come on, as I’ve said…kill me now.

Question for the day: Do you know who I am?